I’ve been working out, and lately
my arms have been looking like
Marlboro Reds instead of Virginia Slims
but I still feel like a stick figure in a
comic I haven’t finished yet
I keep wondering if I need to accept myself
before I change. How do I integrate
I want my arms to look like a joint,
then a Backwood
I haven’t smoked in a couple months
my anxiety seems to be on the back burner
but I’m cooking, coming to a simmer
The voice of the middle school boys
bombards me no longer
Is this all for me or for eyes to see
Lately I’ve been thinking like I’m confirming
to male beauty standards
when I feel like neither
You can’t put labels on my infinite soul
this is one of my many forms
it’s mine to learn and grow
Is this a lesson of integration
or am I working toward my goals
Is this in my best interest
or to keep the interest of others
to digest me easier
Because lately I’ve been looking at myself
I’m the mirror
I pick a flower, unlike me,
I won’t snap under pressure anymore
A beautiful work of art
a child of Mother Nature
I suckle on the fruit of it all
I’m nurtured
cradled, whispering
I love myself the way I am
Enough
PaleDeerPoetry 